In the Appalachian backcountry of West Virginia and Kentucky, during the post Civil War 1800s along the Tug Fork River, lived two families named Hatfield and McCoy who began a feud that would last more than 100 years. Legend tells of many ways the true-to-life conflict began, and some say disputes continue in some form to this day.  People have died and many emotional, geographical, property and legal boundaries have been established, disputed and closely guarded.

Feuds occur all the time, of course, but few are as serious and intractable as the Hatfields and McCoys or the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Are you feuding with someone? Have you “drawn a line in the sand” with one or more of your relationships? We do this all the time: with our children, customers and associates, and in our businesses, teams, marriages, churches, neighborhoods, communities, governments… We create boundaries all the time. But sometimes the lines we draw leave us playing a role of little more than border guards.

“Excuse me, but I believe you are sitting in my church pew.”

Sometimes you have to give a little, even if all you get in return is a little peace, or at least détente. This recent advertisement by the Coca-Cola Company illustrates this quite humorously.

Maybe it’s time for you to adjust your boundaries.  Get outside of your box, or at least adjust that line in the sand.

Relationship boundaries are often necessary to prevent co-dependency and every healthy relationship has its boundaries. When two or more people jointly explore the boundaries of relationship this allows the relationship to grow deeper, more powerful, and allows the people in relationship to optimize performance, to achieve more, to find peace.

Maybe all you need to do is make a small allowance. Take a small risk. Show the first sign of trust. Share a resource.
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