Are You Living or Enduring?

I think I have been guilty of “wishing my life away” at times. Have you?

I arrived home an hour ago after driving across the state with my oldest son for his hockey game. Actually, this was a light weekend; usually, we are juggling multiple events in multiple locations throughout the weekend. In two weeks, we have four places we need to be on a single Saturday night. Last weekend, we had to be in three places in three parts of Illinois on Sunday morning; we found a way. My wife and I are good about splitting up and one of us being with each of the boys (there are three, actually), but what is the square root of one marriage? I guess we’ll devise a plan between now and then. Sometimes, I relish the work week so I can relax a little! Weekends can be exhausting in our family.

But I must catch myself before complaining about grueling weekends. It won’t be long before our oldest son graduates from high school and, probably, moves away. These times won’t last forever; I will dearly miss our many, many road trips and conversations and arguments. And not many parents spend as much time in direct contact with their children as we do on these weekend road trips. Who might be influencing our kids if they weren’t with us? I feel guilty for sometimes feeling like I have endured my weekend of chauffeuring my sons for hours at a time.

Happiness is no fool’s gold,
but it may take a struggle through
difficult choices to get there.

How much of your life are you “enduring”? Sure, you have struggles and some of them you legitimately seek to get through sooner than later. But are there other things you endure when you might better be appreciating them for what they are? Is your life out of balance or are you just reacting to circumstances rather than choosing what is really important to you at any given time?

If you are tolerating things in your life, then understand that is a choice. You ALWAYS have choices, although none of them may seem too compelling, but you choose your life daily. The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you will gain some control over your own life.

Yet if you find yourself, every weekday, longing for the weekend; or slogging through each day dreaming about the vacation you’ll take next month; or wishing it was tomorrow because of what you are enduring today – then you have a problem.

  • What brings you alive? Consider working these things into your daily or weekly schedule to rediscover your passions.
  • What are you tolerating? Consider the choice you are making and the personal rewards for making a different choice – and the consequences for doing nothing different. Happiness is no fool’s gold, but it may take a struggle through difficult choices to get there.

If you view your life as an endurance test, it probably will be.

If you view life as as series of opportunities and events to be appreciated for what they are, you will know happiness. There is purpose in every moment, if you seek it out.

Posted in balance, happiness, influence, passion, Purpose, tolerating | Leave a comment

The Real Potential of Team Building

“Team building” is one of the most meaningless phrases in the English language. That’s right – meaningless. Yet requests for “team building” is the single most frequent request I receive from business executives, managers and team leaders. Almost always, they request team building because they cannot articulate exactly what they do want or need, or why they really need it. They just know a lot of time seems to be wasted on “relationship issues” or “we could always be more productive with a little more team work.”

“Team building” means little because it can mean so many different things in context. Most often, team building requests are about fixing or improving relationships among group members. In my work over the past 20 years, I have found that relationship issues are seldom the root cause of team problems; they are more often the symptoms. So allow me to offer a basic primer in understanding the nature of effective teams and what team building generally is all about.

First, start with an effective definition of team building; this alone will shape a high-quality intervention with your team. My definition is:

Teambuilding is an Organization Development technique for improving a work group’s performance and attitudes by clarifying group goals and clarifying members’ expectations of each other.

Search for specific inhibitors to your team’s performance. The “relationship issues” will come up first, but you will need dig deeper. Root causes of inhibitors need to be explored in the order listed below. Most importantly, team building must be an ongoing process – not a half-day activity or outing. The team building activities of that nature that I offer are meant to be used as a single element of an overal strategy for team development. I nearly always develop a customized approach depending on the context and commitment to change from my clients.

Remember, your goal is specific: to improve team performance and attitudes by clarifying group goals and members’ expectations of one another in the following order. This requires focus, disciplined adherence to a structured process, and at least some assistance from a skilled facilitator from outside your team and organizational culture. This simple model works for any kind of team, whether it’s a marriage, a family, a church, a neighborhood or civic group, a government task force, small business or Fortune 500 corporation.

Goals

  • Do team members have a clear, shared understanding and articulation of the same mission, goals, vision and even values?
  • By the way, you might call this all-important clarification process, which is the first step necessary to get team members “on the same page”, as “The Intersection of Purpose”.
  • Teams I have worked with are amazed at the transformation of their attitudes, among other outcomes, just by achieving success at developing a clearly stated common mission. This is one of the reasons why I say Strategic Thinking and Planning is perhaps the most powerful “team building” activity any group can pursue.
Roles
  • What roles are necessary for the team to be effective and who will play those roles (individuals, SBUs, locations, departments, etc)?
  • Within each role, are there clearly identified goals that support the team’s purpose and mission?
  • Do team members share mutual expectations of one another (and SBUs, etc) in their respective roles?

Rules

  • Is everyone playing by the same rules? These include written rules like policy, procedures, regulatory issues, written core values…
  • This also includes “unwritten rules” – the ones that really define team and organizational culture. Typically, it is often a continuous, and sometimes very difficult and time-consuming challenge to identify a team’s unwritten rules. Team members and team leaders are typically hard-pressed to do this heavy lifting, but it can pay big dividends and nearly always requires outside assistance.

Relationships

  • Yes, relationship issues can produce root cause inhibitors to team success, but should only be accepted after the other three causal areas are explored and well-defined with a great degree of consensus.
  • Usually, when goals, roles and rules are clarified, the relationship issues take care of themselves. Conflict still exists, but is productive and exists for good reason – as the necessary ingredient for innovation. No longer is conflict about “right versus wrong” or “win versus lose”; now it’s about win-win relationships and “what is the best right answer among all our team members’ possible right answers?”
  • Where relationship issues still exist, now they can effectively be addressed through tools and activities like sharing behavioral style assessments (i.e. DISC) and traditional team building activities.

Now, with all this said, I do use traditional team building as a means to introduce organizations t more profound solutions. But I am very careful up front when I say “yes” to these agreements. Unless relationships are the only inhibitor to effective team development, these activities provide short-term fixes at best.

I picked up a new client last week who put it best: “We need team development, not just team building.”

Posted in goals, organization development, performance, strategic planning, team building, team work | Leave a comment

A Career Planning Checklist for Your Job Search

Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for a job or making a career transition right now, and maybe I can help. I have 20 years experience as a Certified Career Specialist and Business Coach, with a record of helping more than 1,000 people find jobs. These have included people facing every conceivable kind of barrier to employment, from out-placed executives to people with disabilities.

If you have spent any time looking for a job, you may be thinking, “There must be a better way.” In fact, there are many “better ways,” and it is up to you to find your way. Most successful job seekers do follow some common practices to progress in their careers. Use this checklist to measure your progress. See my full article on “A Career Planning Checklist for Your Job Search” at EzineArticles.com.

Posted in career planning, Career Planning Checklist, employment, job search, jobs | Leave a comment