The following is written by my business partner, Becky Morris. She is a much more experienced parent than I am: she has been through the pain of a child giving up his blankie more often.
Every time one of my children inform me that I am going to be blessed with another grandchild I immediately begin planning a quilt for that new baby, which is soon going to be part of our family. I wait to see if the parents find out the sex, then I begin shopping for material that will be just right.
All of my grandbabies love their quilts, but no one loves his more than Korey. Korey affectionately calls his quilt his “Grammy blankie”. As a toddler, he would sit by the washer and dryer while it was being laundered because he just didn’t think he could live without it. His mom tried as often as possible to do this late at night after he was asleep so it wouldn’t be so painful.
When Korey was about 4 he was at my house one time and he said to me, “Grammy, did you know that you and my blankie have the same name?” I’m not sure he understood why he called his blankie his “Grammy blankie”, but he sure thought it was cool that we shared a name.
Korey is soon turning 7. We have begun the process of laying the blankie to rest. I have offered to keep it at my house and put it in my hope chest alongside his daddy’s favorite blankie. Seven seems so old to his parents, too old for a blankie, but Grammy knows that seven is not that old.
The bigger question is how we can explain to Korey that this blankie doesn’t really provide that much security. What about the blankie comforts him? In pondering this the last few weeks (For some reason this is a bigger deal to me as a grandparent than it was as a parent; does that make me a bad mom?) I began thinking about the things that I hold on to for security. Many of my habits of thought and behaviors keep me comfortable, but they don’t provide security. Sometimes comfort gives us a false sense of security. Comfort and security may keep us from growing further.
- Do you have any such things that bring you comfort?
- What is it about the thing that comforts you?
- How might you know when it is time to “lay your Grammy blankie to rest”?
- How would giving up some well-worn, comfortable habits, which perhaps you have outgrown, open you up to further growth, satisfaction, independence and success?